idontknow.

it’s starting all over again. and i dont know what to do. i have set my principles and i have never been the type who goes against my principles, but i am left with more options? no. my pride is at stake and it’s something i have to be firm about – yet i am only human and i may fall for it soon enough. have i underestimated his capabilities? or was i just to confident that hetred would be enough to make me forget things.

ive been really thinking and i have a stong feeling it wouldnt be easy. i admit i have fallen for the other and i cant imagine what life would be like if i didnt have him right next to me, i thought there was no chance for us  that’s why little by little i was letting you go – there so much anger in me because you allowed me to drown in regret and guilt because i had to set you aside over him but can you blame me? i wish you had his strength garfield(that was the name i always called you, and i loved every minute of it) wish you couldve told me those words he said that you cared, that you needed me that it wasnt easy without me by your side. i trust you and all but then words are still important. theres nothing much i can do but to keep on wishing.

after a month you have returned, just when i was this close of forgetting you – youve brought back a certain song in me, a melody i chose to forget. love and hatred are battling their way inside and idontknow whos going to win.. im calling out, someone save me.

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