It’s all about keeping up?

6.15.2010
2.19 am

Is keeping up with forever that long? Does it sound that difficult? When the thought of relationships and finding your otherhalf settles in how much are you willing to sacrifice and how long are you willing to keep up with the promise? Promise made by healing hearts that have been wounded in different ways in the past but despite the fact they are once again driven up by intense emotions – inside them both are thirsty for love: that is nothing like the others, both start to believe that as long as the other one exists everything will work as planned and sooner or later as the ride carries the best in each one of them is unleashed. But time will come that somewhere along the ride the waves start to alter the serenity and things will start to shake, I wonder will they be strong enough to keep the balance?
These were things that I only thought that would happen in the movies or probably in cheesy soap operas I never thought such events can occur in the real life silly as it seems it’s not easy as it looks. Talk about the game of hearts – let’s put it this way in the long run I’ve seen how they played the game and at times I have managed to play the game myself – but I don’t really reach the higher levels most of the time I only settle for the primary ones or in simpler terms ‘special friends’ well I guess that’s really something not much to brag about huh? But mostly I prefer to play as the umpire wherein I would serve as tracker for both players – being one is not really a difficult role I mean like the rules are being followed and understood objectively so whatever happens it’s really not much of my lose for my role was to make both parties realize their mistakes and give credits to the good points but at the end of the day it’s still their call.
Few months ago I was a mere umpire but when I crashed into a strange soul the next thing I knew I was one of the players. We were the last people to decide. There were umpires around us and I have slowly realized how important they were in the game I mean like it’s not all the time one would get to realize the good points especially when things don’t go as planned. Typically I was never the type of person who would actually share my life with a different soul specifically referring to someone not related by blood and all I mean like I barely talk to my mom though she’s able to figure things out eventually no matter how hard I try to keep it I guess that’s the magic of being a mom ‘they just know’ but for the others once I have the mask on they see it as if it’s the real thing and so far giving in to the option of opening up was always my call. But when I bumped into him it was different – he was always particular about these kinds of things, like promises as much as possible when are given off they should be followed. Honestly there are times when I am still not used to such no wonder why we argue at times I guess it’s the side of me being so independent that I just tend to strike when I want to. I know we’re not really married and all to be so committed to the story but it’s the first time I’ve encountered someone like him – likewise the idea follows that some people wish to be single for they can’t handle the complications.
As for me , I believe I can handle it – like emotionally if it’s feelings they are talking about I know he has captured my heart and little by little the deathless urge has kept me going to want him even more. I admit he isn’t perfect, in fact there are times that his imperfections caused us to argue big time and sometimes our point of views don’t meet but if I think of it those things really do happen for it’s where we learn to grow. At first I thought I was the only one who has developed this deathless urge but to my surprise he had the same thing as well – fallen for this spell which I really didn’t intend to create at the beginning it just happened, he said a piece of me is with him and we are alike in some ways. Hearing such brings chills to my bone, and it really felt good. Love is not the only reason why I keep up with him I want to see the best from him, I want to witness the change for I know he has that hidden within but it’s his insecurities that hinder him to push through – and I don’t really want that to go through the long run. Time is ticking fast.

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